What’s That, God? I Can’t Hear You

As I sit here, sipping my green tea (with mint!) I can’t help but think about the many things I’ve been blessed with. And yet, in our deepest, darkest parts, we’re all dissatisfied. We’ve learned to hide it, but we are unable to enjoy the world the way God created on our own.

As I think, my mind wanders to the “to-do” list I have made for myself as a writer. Am I a writer? Well, I like writing, I’m pretty good at it, obviously God has gifted me with the ability to write.

But is that all it takes to be a writer?

And more importantly, just because I’m good at writing, is that what God specifically wants me to do? Well, yes, it’s true that God gave the ability for me to use, but *I* decided how to use that gift. I’m the one who wants to be a Christian Fiction novelist. I never received a message saying “You are to be the next Frank E. Peretti.” I would like nothing more than to do that, but is that what God really wants from me?

Well, no, it isn’t. He wants me to first and foremost seek Him.

“That sounds easier than it is,” you say, and you’d be right. But the main reason we fail to properly seek God is because we’re too busy trying to fulfill our own agenda. We can’t hear God over the noise and racket we fill our minds with. How can we listen to His still, small voice when the TV is on full volume, the kids are on even fuller volume, and every spare minute we have is consumed with “how am I going to make ends meet?”

Welcome to the modern world. This is what we struggle with. So how do we hear God? Quiet your mind, quiet your surroundings, still your active life, and listen. Read your Bible, put on some quiet music, and listen. Not for just five minutes, either. We can’t expect God to reveal Himself to us like a drive-through window. It doesn’t happen on our schedule. We have to be available to listen.

So in light of this, what are my goals in life? I mean, my real goals, not what I think would make me the most money.
* I want to write as much as I can. This could mean writing novels, or it could mean blog posts, or it could mean writing letters to my friends and family.
* I want to spend more time with my family. Especially doing things with them, not doing things around them.
* I want to play more music. Nothing fills me with wonder, joy, and passion like playing music. I’m not a very good songwriter, but I have been given the gift of music, and I want to use that as much as I can. It might mean playing in a band, or doing more music in church, or maybe teaching my kids to play instruments.
* I want to read more books.
* I want to bless people with what I’ve been given. I don’t want to develop a dependency on “stuff”, but would rather use it as a way to bless others.
* I want to read the Bible enough to be fluent in it.

I’m sure there are more things than this, but these will do for now. What are your goals in life? Are they too specific? Do you need to quiet your life before you can hear God? I know I did.

The “Good or God” Dilemma

In the last two years, my entire life has been turned upside down. From everybody’s perspective, I was on top of the world: I had lost 40 pounds, had gotten in shape, had self-published a book, started riding my bike to work (saving gas, money, and the environment!), was working at the best job I’d ever had, and by all intents and purposes, I had everything going for me.

Except for one little problem. I had made this my god (little “g”). I was too busy to read my Bible, was too busy to pray on a regular basis, too tired to play with my kids, too drained to spend quality time with my wife. I scrounged cycling forums several times a day, and kept meticulous records of my weekly mileage (I clocked in 4000+ miles in one year, on my bicycle!But it wasn’t enough.

I was trying to better myself, but in the process, I had lost what really matters. I no longer was doing what I needed to do. I didn’t really need to get healthier or save money. I wanted to because it made me feel better physically and mentally. But spiritually, I was sick!

The truth is, I was seeking approval from the wrong place. I was getting plenty of accolades, even from the people whom I was cheating time from. But I had walked away from talking with God. I was content that the relationship would stay on hold, and that God would be there, right where I left off, when I needed him again.

And then I got hit by a car that ran a red light. Shattered my life, shattered my femur, shattered my self-confidence. It shook me from top to bottom, and all of a sudden I realized I wasn’t as close to God as I had thought. I found myself unable to stand or walk, stuck with a hospital bill I couldn’t pay. I was completely helpless.

For a few days, I stuck it out. I was strong, I could deal with this. But after days of having my leg in traction waiting on surgery (and you don’t want to know how they did that… let’s just say, even on morphine, it was extremely unpleasant) I broke down and admitted there was absolutely nothing I could do. And then, when I realized all those pounds I lost and miles I rode were worthless if I might never walk again, God came to me. He was there, all along. He hadn’t moved: I had left Him behind. In my own quest for self-improvement, I had lost touch with my Creator.

I urge you, if you’re in a place where everything is going fine, don’t forget about God. It’s easy, but don’t do it. You cannot enjoy all the things in life you’ve been blessed with without acknowledging  who allowed it to happen.

“But,” you say with your hands on your hips, “God didn’t give me fitness/money/whatever, I worked for it!”

Who gave you the ability to walk? Who kept you from being run over by a car running a red light? Who do you think blessed you with eyesight to be able to read this? God did. It wasn’t an accident. Who allowed me to get hit by a car? God did. Why? Because when you can’t walk, you can’t run away from your problems. God won’t chase you; He will make you stop running. That’s how He works.

Self-improvement for its own sake is pointless. Only when you replace the worldly approval with Jesus do you see benefits of doing good. You can obsess over simplicity just like you can be consumed with materialism. For some it’s a matter of obsessing over something good, like exercise, while leaving your spiritual condition in shambles.

Focusing on anything, even “good” things, outside of God, will land you in trouble. One day you may find yourself unable to run. Once you realize you are helpless, truly helpless, then you will be able to see God do miraculous things.

Good works are not a substitute for a relationship with God.