New Years Devolution

First off: Happy New Years. Glad we made it another year! In an effort to grow closer to my loyal, rabid fan base (all 3 of you) I’ll start off the New Year by giving you a glimpse into my little slice of life.

Over the winter break (my work shuts down from Christmas to after New Years) my family all had the flu. Which means, we pretty much sat around the house watching Christmas movies and playing games. The time was well spent really, and it also gave me time to rest and think. Contrary to popular belief, thinking is one of my favorite pastimes. We laughed a lot, took a lot of cold medicine, took about a thousand temperatures, shivered, sweated, and generally acted like we had the flu. It was glorious.

During this time, I had the chance to experience my family in their natural habitat. I got to see my kids playing with each other, helping each other, aggravating each other. More importantly, I got to interact with them in ways I don’t normally get to as a working dad. They got to be comfortable around me, and we got to have some great conversations.

I’m generally not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. But sometimes, I catch myself breaking resolutions without realizing I had made them in the first place. Have you ever done that? It’s kind of scary, and it says a lot about how our minds work.

For instance: Unbeknownst to me, my brain resolved to ride my bike to work as much as possible. You know how many times I’ve ridden this year? That’s right, none. Zilch. Why does this upset me? Does it make a difference in the grand scheme of things? Not really. But I still feel like a failure.

I also started journaling over the Christmas break. After more than a week, I realized I missed a day… and I immediately felt like a failure again. Did I resolve to write every day? No! But since I had been writing every day, my brain grabbed a hold of that and declared it was something I just had to do. And when I didn’t, I felt failure and disappointment.

Faithful readers, I want you to remember, your brain can and will throw you under the bus for the sake of ego. I fight tremendously with this, because I’m so awesome all the time anyway. (See? There it goes again… sigh)

Seriously, don’t get caught up with New Years resolutions. Instead, you should have a “Year’s End” party, and look back on all the things you actually accomplished that year. Quit trying to sell yourself short… and quit trying to be something you’re not. Celebrate the things you’ve done, not the things you haven’t. There’s nothing wrong with setting goals, but when you tie your self-worth up in something you will eventually fail at, it makes your whole life feel like a failure.

And your life isn’t a failure. If you agree, post up some comments on what you have accomplished last year.