Category: Outside the Box

Non-mainstream thoughts and musings

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Mindset, Focus, and Knowing Thyself

A large part of figuring out how to live life and get things done is being honest with yourself.

Let me explain. Productive people understand themselves to the point where they know that they can or can’t do something. They don’t waste their time doing things they know they can’t do. Therefore, they have more time to get important stuff done.

Unproductive people keep trying to do something they can’t do, and then blame it on everything else when the results are predictable. When I say “something they can’t do” I’m not talking about a particular skill. I’m talking about their ability to focus on a task, or follow through.

For instance: I know if I sit down and try to write something while the kids are playing loudly, or the TV is on… I’m not going to get anything done. Honestly, my ADD kicks in and it’s all downhill. If I’m at my desk at work, and I’m trying to get stuff done, and I have a browser open with a Twitter feed… guess what? Not going to get much done.

We lie to ourselves and pretend we’re better than we really are. But the way to get things done is to be realistic about our shortcomings, our personal weaknesses, and plan for them in advance. Continue reading “Mindset, Focus, and Knowing Thyself”

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Happy Thanksgiving

I’m going to be traveling without internet access this week for the holidays, so I’ll resume regular blog entries on Monday, November 30. Coincidentally, that will also be the last day of NaNoWriMo…

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Refreshed And Renewed

Every now and then, you need time to refuel yourself. When you’re the dad of four teenagers, and a supervillain, things get kind of hectic. Throw in writing a book on top of that, and it’s downright insane.

This past weekend, my wife and I went to a retreat without the kids. It was probably the most fun we’ve had together as a couple in years. It was a marriage retreat, so we spent time talking about relationship issues, having fellowship with good friends, and generally just growing closer together.

This reminds me that as a married couple, we’ve gone through some really tough times. But somehow we’ve managed to not only stay together, but thrive and grow in spite of our obstacles. (One major obstacle, of course, is my inability to remember what day of the week it even is… but I digress.)

As a writer, as a spouse, as a parent, there will be times when you feel empty. During those times, you will need to recharge yourself spiritually and physically. Sometimes trying to find a way to recharge will seem like more work than just staying home! (I’m looking at you, Deb…) But we need to be recharged. It’s not healthy to work non-stop. There’s a reason God insisted that the Israelites honor the sabbath. Continue reading “Refreshed And Renewed”

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On Being A “Writer”

I don’t know how they do it.

You know the ones I’m talking about: the writers who, in their spare time,  wrote novels that became international hits.

Writing novels isn’t hard per se, as in it’s not difficult to sit in front of a computer and type. But it’s more difficult to produce a coherent, functioning story that can entertain people.

I want to make my story the best one possible, but I have to balance that with the reality of having a job and a family. I’m pretty sure I could crank out thousands of words a day if I didn’t have a job that sucked up ten hours a day. Continue reading “On Being A “Writer””

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Thoughts on Masculinity

A few days ago, a dear friend of mine, an older brother in the faith, was talking to me about his van. It seemed like it needed a new battery, but we were discussing other things that could cause it not to start. I mentioned cleaning off the starter solenoid posts with a wire brush, and a few other things.

And then he turned to me and said something to the effect of, “You know, you’re one of the most masculine guys I know.”

I just kind of stared at him for a moment. I’m not tough and gruff. I don’t hunt, or even own a gun. I’m not exactly a physically intimidating man. I’m balding. I said “Well, I haven’t grown my beard out in a while…”

“No,” he said, “it’s not how you look. I mean, how you just crawl up underneath something and work on it, or how you’re not afraid to get your hands dirty. Things like that.”

I’ll admit, I was kind of thrown off-guard. But after a day or so, it made me want to think about what I perceive as masculine, and what other people think of as masculine. Who defines what that means?  How does that affect me, and how does that fit into my life?

[mas-kyuh-lin]
1. pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men
2. having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, as strength and boldness

Qualities such as strength and boldness? Hmm. I’m not that strong, physically. And boldness, I’m not too sure about.

But what if they’re talking about a different kind of strength? Continue reading “Thoughts on Masculinity”

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Life In Perspective

Sometimes life just clips along, and we merrily go through it, paying no mind to anything. We’re the happy center of our own universe, and nothing matters except what’s immediately in front of us.

And then there are days where you come face to face with the reaper, and you realize you’re just a single breath away from eternity.

This past week, a guy at work died of cancer. He only knew about it 2 months before he succumbed to it. I’ve known other people who were diagnosed with and died of cancer within 2 weeks. Two Weeks.

So what’s the point of it all, if we’re just dust? If we’re such insignificant specks in the flotsam of the universe, why do we even bother? Continue reading “Life In Perspective”

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Mental Toughness

As we’ve touched on previously, the ability to be fit and strong really comes down to a mental struggle. Everybody wants to be fit, right? But it’s work. And not everybody wants to work. So how do you become fit if you’re reluctant to work? How do you become strong if you’re… weak?

Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? We live in an age where the hardest thing we overcome is whether we want White Mocha or Pumpkin Spice lattes.

How can you expect to succeed in a heroic effort if you have nothing to fight for? Sure, going to the gym is hard, physically, but its not exactly life-threatening. And doing aerobics or riding your bike to work isn’t going to earn you a Purple Heart.

There can be external motivations, but they’re fleeting and easily forgotten. The real motivation, your intrinsic reason for doing it, is because you want to be that hero. You have to crave being that strong person. Because if you don’t want it… you’ll find any excuse not to be that person. Continue reading “Mental Toughness”

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Being Grounded In A Subversive World

sub•vert (səb-vûrtˈ)

  • v. To destroy completely; ruin: “schemes to subvert the liberties of a great community” (Alexander Hamilton).
  • v. To undermine the character, morals, or allegiance of; corrupt.
  • v. To overthrow completely.

Whether we like it or not, we live in a world filled with subversion. Everywhere we go, people want to undermine common sense in order to warp reality to fit their own ends.

Specifically, I’m talking about definition #2: “To undermine the character, morals, or allegiance of; corrupt.”

You have to understand that in order for morals and character to be undermined, there have to be morals and character there to begin with. You can’t subvert or corrupt something that doesn’t exist. Continue reading “Being Grounded In A Subversive World”

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What Drives Me To Write

With all the thinking I’ve been doing on how to write, I haven’t covered much about why I write. And while I am still hammering through plots and characters, every now and then I have to remind myself why I’m sitting with my laptop, pouring time and energy into something intangible.

I came to a realization last night, after reading and watching some excellent seminars on plot and originality. I realized that it’s okay for me to pour myself into the book’s main character. There’s nothing wrong with using my own experiences if it makes for a more convincing story.

This not only gives me some freedom in not having to worry about making the “perfect” character, it allows me to write what I know. If I write a character that has had hip surgery, I know how to write that. I know what it feels like, I know how to describe it. If my character plays the guitar, I know how to describe that, I know what that feels like. And that’s not a bad thing. Continue reading “What Drives Me To Write”