Corporate Emo Poetry Monday (Quiet Desperation Edition)

we are soldiers of the mass conglomeration
unspoken cannon fodder of the corporation
subsequently fed into a dead-end generation
forever relegated to the bottom of the nation

we tirelessly toil to fight the managed conflagration
while we simulateously extinguish innovation
we struggle endlessly to kill the ravenous cessation
of everything we might hold dear before elimination

to those who toil away their lives in quiet desperation
I challenge you to stand and look around your situation
unless you choose to think and rise above innoculation
your fate will be no different than a man’s incarceration

Strength To Continue On

So what happens when you just can’t go on? Do you keep pushing, and just hope you can pull through? Or do you take a step back, look at the situation, and figure out what the best course of action is?

Most of the time, we instinctively buckle down and keep pushing through the bad situation until it’s over… if it ever gets “over”. Sadly, we allow these things to affect the people we love. Sometimes we need to change things, not just for our sake.

I think the hardest part of getting through tough times is being able to distance yourself enough from the problem to come up with a real solution. Not just survival… but being able to objectively look at where you are, and what happened to get you there.

Sometimes you may feel like you can’t get above water long enough to even catch a breath of air, but it is essential for you to be able to look at things apart from your feelings. You can’t come up with solutions if your emotions are running all over the place. I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m a pretty emotional person. But you can’t think through a problem using the same thought process that got you there in the first place.

At the end of the day, however, we’re not going to be able to keep everything together on our own. It’s so important to look for strength outside of yourself- and I’m not talking about another person.

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

Corporate Emo Poetry Monday (Rainy Day Edition)

In the early morning rain I stake my claim
To only temporarily disguise the pain
So many things I’ve been forced to leave
In order to compartmentalize my brain

Forever I toil to the beat of the drummer
Forbidden to rest till there is no more summer
The crushing of weights with the brightest of smiles
And every day added makes me even dumber

Yet once I have conquered the unending ladder
And the dust has settled and the company’s fatter
I realize I’m gripping the shifting of sand
And that after all, it just plain doesn’t matter

New Years Devolution

First off: Happy New Years. Glad we made it another year! In an effort to grow closer to my loyal, rabid fan base (all 3 of you) I’ll start off the New Year by giving you a glimpse into my little slice of life.

Over the winter break (my work shuts down from Christmas to after New Years) my family all had the flu. Which means, we pretty much sat around the house watching Christmas movies and playing games. The time was well spent really, and it also gave me time to rest and think. Contrary to popular belief, thinking is one of my favorite pastimes. We laughed a lot, took a lot of cold medicine, took about a thousand temperatures, shivered, sweated, and generally acted like we had the flu. It was glorious.

During this time, I had the chance to experience my family in their natural habitat. I got to see my kids playing with each other, helping each other, aggravating each other. More importantly, I got to interact with them in ways I don’t normally get to as a working dad. They got to be comfortable around me, and we got to have some great conversations.

I’m generally not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. But sometimes, I catch myself breaking resolutions without realizing I had made them in the first place. Have you ever done that? It’s kind of scary, and it says a lot about how our minds work.

For instance: Unbeknownst to me, my brain resolved to ride my bike to work as much as possible. You know how many times I’ve ridden this year? That’s right, none. Zilch. Why does this upset me? Does it make a difference in the grand scheme of things? Not really. But I still feel like a failure.

I also started journaling over the Christmas break. After more than a week, I realized I missed a day… and I immediately felt like a failure again. Did I resolve to write every day? No! But since I had been writing every day, my brain grabbed a hold of that and declared it was something I just had to do. And when I didn’t, I felt failure and disappointment.

Faithful readers, I want you to remember, your brain can and will throw you under the bus for the sake of ego. I fight tremendously with this, because I’m so awesome all the time anyway. (See? There it goes again… sigh)

Seriously, don’t get caught up with New Years resolutions. Instead, you should have a “Year’s End” party, and look back on all the things you actually accomplished that year. Quit trying to sell yourself short… and quit trying to be something you’re not. Celebrate the things you’ve done, not the things you haven’t. There’s nothing wrong with setting goals, but when you tie your self-worth up in something you will eventually fail at, it makes your whole life feel like a failure.

And your life isn’t a failure. If you agree, post up some comments on what you have accomplished last year.

Some Things Money Can’t Buy

I don’t rant very often, and most people who know me would say I’m a very laid-back guy (some people say if I were any more laid back, I wouldn’t have a pulse). But sometimes, my cynical side thinks bad things about expensive bikes, and snobbish cyclists… and I have to take a long, hard look at what I really enjoy about riding a bike.

I like real casual group rides, the kind where they might stop for donuts and coffee. I’m not interested in Snagging a Strava KOM. I like hanging with my buds, getting lost and finding new trails and roads. I’m the guy who shows up to group rides in baggy shorts and a 35 year old Raleigh, and proceeds to ride whenever, wherever. My jersey pockets aren’t stuffed with Blok Shots, probably just bananas, PB&J and some trail mix in my panniers.

I’ll admit it, I’m tempted to over-think cycling, and so are a lot of other people. But at the end of the day, I don’t need a bunch of stuff to enjoy cycling. That’s part of why I started riding to work. I didn’t want to just ride as a hobby. I wanted it to be a normal part of my life, like breathing, or eating. I wanted to make a difference in the world, and a change in my life.

And I think, overall, I’ve accomplished that. I’ll admit it, my bikes are heavy, mostly cheap, and cobbled together from spare parts. Even if I were concerned about weight, I couldn’t spend serious coin on a bicycle. And I’m here to tell you you don’t have to. I’ve been around long enough to know what you ride isn’t as important as how much you ride. And even that pales in comparison to how much you love to ride. I will always have respect for someone who puts down big miles, especially if they do it on a cheap/heavy bike. Bonus points if you built the bike yourself. Don’t think that you have to have to lay out a lot of money to have a decent commuter bike. Usually, you can use what you have already, and just add to it as you go.

This is how I got started, with a cheap bike. Continue reading “Some Things Money Can’t Buy”

So… You Wanna Ride a Bike?

You know that moment, when you’re standing in the open door of an airplane, toes hanging over the edge, and you’re waiting to jump?

So, I went skydiving once. It was the most exhilarating/terrifying feeling I think I’ve ever experienced. You see, I’m what’s called an adrenaline junkie. I admit it… and admitting you have a problem is the first step… but it’s true. I did it because I could, and I would do it again if I had the chance.

And honestly, I was mortified. I knew it was going to be exciting, I knew it was going to be scary, I knew it was relatively safe, I totally wanted to do it. In the plane, there were probably twenty other people, all grinning and slapping each other on the back and psyching each other up. They were shouting, they were nervously bouncing, they were stoked.

I think somewhere about 13,000 feet up it hit me. When the door rolled open, and people started pouring out, and I realized holy freaking cow, I’m jumping out of an airplane.

My heart was pounding, my nerves were screaming, every survival instinct in my body was telling me “Sit down, you have no business jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.” (The running gag with skydivers is, if you think this, you obviously haven’t seen the state of disrepair most skydiving planes are in… they can abandon it at any point and be none the worse.)

But I sucked it up after a few reassuring words from my instructor, and out the door we went. Continue reading “So… You Wanna Ride a Bike?”

Rural Bike Commuting: It’s Not The City

Okay, I’ll admit it… every time I hear stories about bike commuters in the city, it fills me with pangs of jealousy, and some days I’ll even descend into a mild (non-medical-grade) depression about the non-attainability of city commuting in the country.

The truth is, commuting in rural areas is a completely different affair than city commuting. It requires different equipment, different tactics, and a different mindset. Now, I haven’t been commuting for decades, but as a native resident of one of the more culturally backwards areas on Earth, I’ve been witness to more than my share of rural miles. And as jealous as I am of the city, I think commuting in the country has its own appeal.

For those of you who brave the back roads and highways, I salute you. You can safely tune back into your routine of picking beer bottle glass from your tires, charging your headlight batteries, wiping roadkill off your downtube, and taking a stout swig of whatever it is that gives you the courage to ride the next day.

Those of you readers who live in the city* and commute there, I’ve decided to give you a brief glimpse into the life of a rural commuter. This is strictly anecdotal, but please remember, this is as accurate as I could make it without scaring the kids. Continue reading “Rural Bike Commuting: It’s Not The City”

Waiting For The Muse To Strike

There are some days when I am fired up about Getting Things Done®. Then there are days when I’m exhausted and fighting a head cold, and I don’t feel like doing anything. So what’s a creative soul to do when you feel like yuck, and the inspiration just doesn’t come?

For me, this comes as a struggle, because I’ve conditioned myself to think I can be creative on demand. Now, I know that’s not the case. I can no more be creative on demand than I can control my involuntary reflexes. However, there’s something to be said for just showing up. Chances are, you’re not going to get anything written if you just stay in bed! But if you sit down at the word processor, at least there’s a possibility.

Sometimes when you’re not feeling creative, but you know you should be, you just have to take some medicine and show up to see what happens. Sometimes, you won’t make much progress, but that’s progress that wouldn’t wouldn’t have made at all if you hadn’t tried. So in a way, you can be creative on demand. It just takes a little time.

I guess what I’m saying is, waiting on the Muse to speak is somewhat overrated. Sometimes the creative juices are there, and you just need to engage them to see what comes out.

If you’ve had a rough week/month/year of creative pursuits, don’t fret. Just sit down at the word processor/digital audio workstation and just do something. 

“Formulaic” Is a Four-letter Word

As I’m listening to Praise and Worship radio on Pandora, I’ve noticed a trend. It seems like what 90% of the songs are doing is re-hashing top songs from 3-5 years ago. In the secular music world, you don’t have 5 artists doing the same song on the radio at the same time, do you? Is the Christian music market becoming so formulaic that all you have to do is cover a few songs, speed them up 15 BPM and add a strong drum track with a backbeat? Does that justify a new recording? Are they really doing anything different? To their credit, there are a few artists who are getting airplay that are playing original songs, not in the “Nashville Standard” sounding format.

It thrills my heart to hear people doing new music for God. As much as I like the standards (and a lot of the “new” standards) it shows much more skill, talent, and calling to produce new worship music that doesn’t fit the Nashville radio formula.

Do yourselves a favor, listen to new groups like Starfield, Mali Music, and a slew of others. They are either 1. playing all new worship music, or 2. playing old and new, but with a very unique style.

After a while, even the “tried and true” worship albums get old. You can only listen to so many remakes of “Revelation Song” or “Open the Eyes of My Heart” or “In Christ Alone” or… you get the idea. Those songs are fantastic in their own rights, but let’s be real. The original artists pretty much gave it everything they had, and you’re not going to top that by trying to recreate that performance. If you’re doing a concert somewhere, I can see playing a few songs that everybody knows. But releasing an album of “classics” from less than 10 years ago? No. You’re not doing the original artists or songs justice. You know, at some point, Michael W. Smith was an unknown songwriter. He didn’t start off with “Place in This World”. Chris Tomlin had to sit down and come up with “Indescribable” on his own.

Heck, there are plenty of long-standing groups that don’t re-hash songs. Guys like Steven Curtis Chapman. Even though he’s from the Nashville area, his music never seems formulaic or stale. He’s always writing new stuff, and to top it off, he’s a phenomenal guitarist in his own right. Israel Houghton writes a lot of new music as well, and does it in a way that’s very fresh. Groups like Salvador, Third Day, the O.C. Supertones, and Audio Adrenaline. They all do worship music (and other thematic music) that’s fresh, well done, and unique. You’re hopefully not going to hear weak re-hashes of “Holiness/Take My Life” on their albums (unless it’s a live album).

It seems to me that almost everybody wants to copy Chris Tomlin, and rightly so. He’s one of the most successful CCM artists in the last 10 years or so, even surpassing greats like Michael W. Smith. His band’s sound and musical style is very close to U2, even down to the delay-drenched guitar riffs over soaring vocal refrains. The problem is, Chris Tomlin has already done Chris Tomlin (and, some would argue, so has U2). His “formula” (and even singing his exact songs) isn’t going to work for every new artist that comes along.

And so, I want to end with two thoughts. First, I don’t want to make it seem like all artists are wrong when the redo a Worship song. Usually it’s not even their choice, most of that is decided by the record label (which is a whole other rant). But secondly, I want to encourage you, the listener (and those of you who play music, too) to not just re-hash your worship experience. God is so vast, so incredibly complex and unknowable, there’s no reason to limit your worship of Him to the latest top 10 CCM hits. He is the ultimate in creativity, and as His creation (and followers), we are called to bring Him glory. Re-hashing music to “make it” in the industry isn’t really doing God, or yourself, any favors.

This applies to writers, too. Don’t feel like you ever have to write in a specific formula/genre to “fit in” to the market. Write what God has laid on your heart, and that’s where you will find Him.