Category: Outside the Box

Non-mainstream thoughts and musings

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Hope Is The Antidote

Giving up always seems like the easy way out of a bad situation. All my life, when things got hard, I wanted to quit. When I hurt and was lonely, and it seemed that nobody cared whether I lived or died, then it was easy to say I didn’t care, either.

But my perception of the situation was always wrong. When I was lonely, it was because of my own actions. Because I pushed people away. When I was hurting, it was because I’d let people into my life that I knew would hurt me, or because I’d hurt them first. It was almost always my own doing. I’d complain about failing again and again, when I wasn’t doing anything to fix my problems. I would complain, and turn right around and bury myself in a pity party.

I was my own worst enemy.

Not surprisingly after years of this, I ended up in a very dark place. I filled my mind with negativity, hatred, anger, and bitterness. I had no hope of ever living a happy life. I tried to convince myself it was justified, that I was the victim, but in reality I was killing myself slowly. Inexorably pushing myself towards a cliff that I couldn’t see, and any day, I would have fallen clean off of it. I’m ashamed to say I contemplated suicide more than once. Continue reading “Hope Is The Antidote”

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A Supervillain’s View Of Fatherhood

There are some days, as I sit in my gold-encrusted throne inside my lair on a remote volcanic island, that I wonder why I wanted to become a supervillain. I mean, World Domination is always nice, but really there’s more to living than being all-powerful and feared by nations.

At some point, I wanted to pass on my legacy as an evil genius. And since I hadn’t gotten my cloning vats functional yet, the next option was to have offspring of my own.

So- I became a supervillain dad. After eighteen years, I’ve just graduated my first Evil Minion, and am in the process of doing the same for the rest. What have I learned on the way? What’s the secret to being a dad with aspirations of taking over the world? Continue reading “A Supervillain’s View Of Fatherhood”

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Thoughts On Anonymity

Most people’s opinions on anonymity are fairly polarized: either they love it, or despise it. And not so surprisingly, it’s pretty easy to guess which group has not the most to hide, but the most desire to find out what others have to hide. And as anyone who reads here should know, I value protection of privacy greatly, even if I don’t take advantage of it regularly for the sake of convenience.

The truth is, there is much more out there watching us than conspirators or the government. Every single thing you do on a computer is tracked and sold to marketing companies. Every time you turn your phone on, it leaves a digital paper trail. Your bank, your insurance company, your employer, your mortgage company, even your regular shopping trips, all track what you do.

So how do you balance convenience with security? Do you really want corporations, banks, and politicians knowing everything you do? Well, up front we don’t. But our actions say otherwise. Privacy, as we know it, is dead. Continue reading “Thoughts On Anonymity”

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Everything Is A Choice

For years now, we’ve seen the rise of a “progressive” political/cultural movement in the United States, and all over the world. But sadly, its central problem is that you can’t get something for nothing. It’s not realistic, because it assumes you can have your cake, and eat it too.

Let’s face it: everybody wants things to be “better.” And by that, we mean “better for us.” Because, who would want things to be worse?

Most of these assumptions are based on the simplistic idea that actions are isolated and can have simple solutions, which observably isn’t the case. Everything is a choice between one thing or another. And in the case of Progressivism, everything is skewed one way or the other, with no one wanting to accept that there’s a middle ground, because no one wants to admit their idea could possibly have negative consequences.

But every decision you make is an “either/or” choice. It may not seem like it, but even taking the time to do something easy is still a choice, to use your time for something. There is always a cost. It may not be apparent at first. It may not be a large cost. But if you look hard enough, it’s there. Continue reading “Everything Is A Choice”

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Mindset, Focus, and Knowing Thyself

A large part of figuring out how to live life and get things done is being honest with yourself.

Let me explain. Productive people understand themselves to the point where they know that they can or can’t do something. They don’t waste their time doing things they know they can’t do. Therefore, they have more time to get important stuff done.

Unproductive people keep trying to do something they can’t do, and then blame it on everything else when the results are predictable. When I say “something they can’t do” I’m not talking about a particular skill. I’m talking about their ability to focus on a task, or follow through.

For instance: I know if I sit down and try to write something while the kids are playing loudly, or the TV is on… I’m not going to get anything done. Honestly, my ADD kicks in and it’s all downhill. If I’m at my desk at work, and I’m trying to get stuff done, and I have a browser open with a Twitter feed… guess what? Not going to get much done.

We lie to ourselves and pretend we’re better than we really are. But the way to get things done is to be realistic about our shortcomings, our personal weaknesses, and plan for them in advance. Continue reading “Mindset, Focus, and Knowing Thyself”

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Happy Thanksgiving

I’m going to be traveling without internet access this week for the holidays, so I’ll resume regular blog entries on Monday, November 30. Coincidentally, that will also be the last day of NaNoWriMo…

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Refreshed And Renewed

Every now and then, you need time to refuel yourself. When you’re the dad of four teenagers, and a supervillain, things get kind of hectic. Throw in writing a book on top of that, and it’s downright insane.

This past weekend, my wife and I went to a retreat without the kids. It was probably the most fun we’ve had together as a couple in years. It was a marriage retreat, so we spent time talking about relationship issues, having fellowship with good friends, and generally just growing closer together.

This reminds me that as a married couple, we’ve gone through some really tough times. But somehow we’ve managed to not only stay together, but thrive and grow in spite of our obstacles. (One major obstacle, of course, is my inability to remember what day of the week it even is… but I digress.)

As a writer, as a spouse, as a parent, there will be times when you feel empty. During those times, you will need to recharge yourself spiritually and physically. Sometimes trying to find a way to recharge will seem like more work than just staying home! (I’m looking at you, Deb…) But we need to be recharged. It’s not healthy to work non-stop. There’s a reason God insisted that the Israelites honor the sabbath. Continue reading “Refreshed And Renewed”

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On Being A “Writer”

I don’t know how they do it.

You know the ones I’m talking about: the writers who, in their spare time,  wrote novels that became international hits.

Writing novels isn’t hard per se, as in it’s not difficult to sit in front of a computer and type. But it’s more difficult to produce a coherent, functioning story that can entertain people.

I want to make my story the best one possible, but I have to balance that with the reality of having a job and a family. I’m pretty sure I could crank out thousands of words a day if I didn’t have a job that sucked up ten hours a day. Continue reading “On Being A “Writer””

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Thoughts on Masculinity

A few days ago, a dear friend of mine, an older brother in the faith, was talking to me about his van. It seemed like it needed a new battery, but we were discussing other things that could cause it not to start. I mentioned cleaning off the starter solenoid posts with a wire brush, and a few other things.

And then he turned to me and said something to the effect of, “You know, you’re one of the most masculine guys I know.”

I just kind of stared at him for a moment. I’m not tough and gruff. I don’t hunt, or even own a gun. I’m not exactly a physically intimidating man. I’m balding. I said “Well, I haven’t grown my beard out in a while…”

“No,” he said, “it’s not how you look. I mean, how you just crawl up underneath something and work on it, or how you’re not afraid to get your hands dirty. Things like that.”

I’ll admit, I was kind of thrown off-guard. But after a day or so, it made me want to think about what I perceive as masculine, and what other people think of as masculine. Who defines what that means?  How does that affect me, and how does that fit into my life?

[mas-kyuh-lin]
1. pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men
2. having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, as strength and boldness

Qualities such as strength and boldness? Hmm. I’m not that strong, physically. And boldness, I’m not too sure about.

But what if they’re talking about a different kind of strength? Continue reading “Thoughts on Masculinity”