Category: Outside the Box

Non-mainstream thoughts and musings

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Scars Are Not A Sign of Weakness

I’ve noticed that in the last few years, I’ve accumulated a lot of scars. Everything from ant bites to major surgery seems to leave a scar on me. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even care if I have scar spots all over my hands, arms, and legs… it’s pretty much unavoidable.

But why do we spend so much time trying to hide our scars? Are we trying not to be judged? Will people think I’m not as attractive if I have staple marks on my head, or discolored lumps on my thigh? What about wrinkles and age spots?

I hate to say it, but I’m not young anymore. Not physically, anyway. I’m pushing 40, which is a long way from 18. Further away from 18 than when I was born. When I look in the mirror, I’m presented with a mix-n-match splatter of skin tones, based upon how long ago the scar was formed. Some of them you almost can’t see. You wouldn’t know they were there if I didn’t show you, but each and every one has a memory tied to it. They remind me of times when I was more reckless… more spontaneous… and less inclined to care.

I have a lot of spiritual and mental scars, as well. They don’t show up often, as I’ve learned to hide them well. We all do. However, you can’t hide scars from everybody, and you can’t hide anything from God. If you’ve been hurt, He knows.

Some people will say “It’s God’s fault I have scars!”

Well, yes. It’s also a doctor’s fault I have an 18″ scar running down my left leg. If it weren’t for that scar, I would probably have never walked without crutches or a cane. It’s a scar I’m willing to deal with, because it’s a sign of healing. The damage underneath would have been much worse without the scar.

Some of my scars are from my own stupidity. Like the time I cut my fingertip with a razor knife. Or the other time I cut a different fingertip with a pair of scissors. Or the time I… well, you get the idea. Sometimes it’s just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have a lot of scars like that. Bug bites, scratches, cuts, you name it. After a while, I tend to forget they’re there. They blend into my self-image so that even I don’t see them. And I look good in the mirror.

But every now and then my scars will itch, and remind me of my past. I have one particular scar that is over two years old, and it’s still healing. Still discolored. Still itches and aches when the weather changes. It’s still ugly, but it’s in a spot where nobody can see it unless I show them. It is fading- slowly- but at this rate it will be decades before it turns the same color as my skin, and it will probably never smooth down to where it’s not noticeable.

I’m okay with scars now. It’s taken some time, but over the years, God has healed my wounds inside and out. Every time it happens, I think “Man, what an ugly scar!” but it’s proof that God is there, pulling me through, healing me. Now I tend to get scars from almost everything. And you know what? It doesn’t bother me.

I’m not done healing. It may take some time. In your life, it may take some time, too. You might have some pretty big wounds, but God can heal them all. They do leave scars, but underneath, there is real healing going on.

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Corporate Emo Poetry Monday- Labor Day Edition

Hurtling myself towards the goal
I determinedly grasp the pole
To vault skywards and reach the prize

I flex and bend to make amends
While people call themselves my friends
But the real me they don’t recognize

And while we pause to celebrate
I fight the urge to overrate
The disgusting faceless corporate giants

I stand with brothers arm in arm
Who fight  the corporate need to harm
The very ones who stand in defiance

Happy Labor Day!

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Who Am I? The Doctor.

Yesterday as I was watching Doctor Who with my kids (The Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith… in case you were wondering) a thought formed in my head. The episode was about a regular guy who gets mixed up with the Doctor, ends up being a hero, saving his own son, and truly becoming a “dad.”

And it got me thinking about how the Doctor isn’t really a hero.

Well, I mean, he is, but in most of the shows, it’s the doctor’s companions that rise to the occasion. It’s just assumed the Doctor is brave and strong and good, even as his character develops and descends into more darkness. He doesn’t always save the day, he’s just the catalyst.

His companions, however, are transformed from clueless bystanders into true warriors. People of passion, wit, bravery, and fury. By stepping into that little blue box, their lives are transformed into something amazing.

And really, that is what makes the Doctor a hero: he turns other people into heroes. He doesn’t force them, he just puts them in situations where their true bravery is allowed to come to the surface. He gives them the option, the opportunity, of doing the right thing.

As I watch my kids grow up around me, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve allowed their true character to shine through. Have I just manipulated them and told them what to do? Or have I put them in situations where their character is tested, and allowed them to rise to the occasion?

In our lives, we need to strive to be like the Doctor. If you want to be a hero, focus on making others around you a hero. By yourself, you can accomplish great things. But if you disciple the ones around you, your legacy can go on indefinitely. Which will have more impact on the world? Unlike the Doctor, we can’t live nearly forever.

We need to step back, look at things through God’s perspective, and then bring our companions along for the ride. Not because we’re good! But because we want to enable people to be better, to rise to their full potential.

And who knows? You might even have a little adventure along the way.

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Hate The NSA? Do Something About It: Start Here.

If you haven’t heard about Snowden and the NSA whistleblowing scandal, you either 1. live under a rock (with no internet) or 2. only use the internet to play Candy Crush (which is just as bad).

Basically, it was made publicly known that the U.S. Government records everything you do on the internet, including emails. Do you like the government having access to all of your emails and surfing history? Your passwords? Your private information? I hope not… and today, I’m going to show you what you can do about it.

Disclaimer: I’m not going to even address the faulted logic of saying “Why use encryption, I have nothing to hide!” Basically, the government can and will use anything you do or say against you if they want, for any reason they want, and their track record of mistakenly incriminating innocent people isn’t particularly good! Encryption is basically the digital version of the Fifth Amendment. Protect yourself.

Back before my web hosting server got wiped a few years ago, I had written a few articles on how to use something called “GPG” to encrypt computer files, primarily emails. GPG (Gnu Privacy Guard) is a fantastic application that basically encrypts computer information using public and private keys.

How GPG works:

  • You download the GPG software. The easiest way to use GPG is to add it as a plug-in to your email client, like Thunderbird or Outlook. (I use Thunderbird with the Enigmail add-on, works fantastically!)
  • You pick an email to identify yourself… this is your digital “identity” that people will associate you with. Doesn’t matter which email it is, but most likely your primary one.
  • You create a “Key Pair” which includes a Public Key and a Private Key. The public key is what other people use to send you messages, and the private key is what you use to decrypt, or read them. You publicly hand out your public key, and you keep your private key, well.. private.
  • You will also want to create a revocation certificate which lets you “revoke” the keys if they ever become compromised. Keep it safe!
  • Now if someone wants to send you a private encrypted message, they use your key to send it to you, and nobody but you can read it. Not even the NSA. You can encrypt messages or files with more than one key, so it does work for group messages. Just be aware! If more than one person can read it, you’d better trust them!

There are lots of other interesting things you can do, and of course, it doesn’t encrypt the email’s headers… who it was sent to, the subject, and any other header data. But if you want to simply communicate without being snooped on, GPG will do it.

You can get started by downloading GPG and trying it out. Feel free to send me an encrypted message to try it out!

My public key (jeff@jeffhendricks.net) can either be downloaded here, or you can search for and download it from a GPG Keyserver.

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Stick To What You Know, A.K.A. “Less Is More”

Life is funny. Since Google shut down their RSS Reader feed, I discovered RSS is a pretty slick way to compile and review bunches of excellent blogs. I didn’t even know what the fuss was about until I heard all these people complaining about how convenient it was, so naturally, my curiosity got the better of me.

I started following all kinds of blogs, from friends and people I respected. As I looked through my list last night, I discovered most of them have a common thread. This caught me off-guard at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew why. They almost all have something to do with non-traditional living.

So what does this have to do with me?

Well, I have a blog, too (shocking, I know). What good is it if I just post occasional rantings here? A few people like reading what I write, but it’s not doing much other than that. What if I could combine all the things I have experience with in ways people could actually use, and then post them up here to help other people get to where I’m at?

Well, yeah, that’s a no-brainer. I’ve already got a few articles on how to do things, but I haven’t tied them in to anything specific. I’ve just been posting whatever comes off the top of my head, which sometimes is interesting, and sometimes isn’t.

So starting today, I’m going to start tying all these things together with a common thread: living a non-traditional, debt-free Godly life, and using that freedom to turn around and bless other people, because that’s what God wants His followers to do.

Let’s face it. Who wouldn’t want to donate thousands of dollars to charities? I mean good charities, not the ones that are business cover-ups. Who wouldn’t feel great about being able to genuinely help people who need it? But most people don’t, because they allowed themselves to get to a place where they spend everything they have, and nothing is left over.

I’m here to tell you that there’s no reason you can’t retire early with what you’re making now, and spend the rest of your life doing whatever the heck you want to. All it takes is lowering your cost of living to the point where you can put a decent amount into a retirement fund, and then work a little while and let it build up.

Spend less, save more. Sounds easy, right?

It works exactly like losing weight (which I’ve also done). Your calorie intake has to be less than your output, or you will never- I repeat, never- lose weight.

“But that’s uncomfortable!” you say. “Why can’t I eat and spend what I want?” Well, you can. But you won’t lose weight, and you won’t become free from debt. You choose.

Still with me? Okay, this is where it gets interesting. I’m here to help you find ways to do more with less, using stuff I have experience with. We’re going to lay out a few things you’ll need on your journey to “Less Is More.” Almost everything I’m going to recommend is either free, or ridiculously cheap.

Resources You Should Be Reading

You can’t change your life without at least a little direction. If you’re serious about wanting to change your life for the better, you should start by reading Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover. (Here’s a hint: borrow it for free from the library!) Dave breaks it down into seven “Baby Steps” but you shouldn’t be discouraged. This is how I got started!

The basics, for Those Who Can’t Wait:

  1. Save $1000 for emergencies. Do what it takes to get there*, and don’t touch it!!
  2. Snowball your debt, i.e. pay off the smallest debt you have**, then move on to the next biggest one until they are all gone.
  3. Once your debt is gone, use the money you saved from credit payments to save 6 month’s of income in the bank.
  4. One that’s done, invest at least 15% into your 401K and/or a Roth IRA***
  5. College Funds for Children. This is optional.
  6. Pay off your mortgage. Without dropping your retirement investments****
  7. Build wealth and give. This isn’t really a step, per se, it is the goal!

*If you can’t save $1000, then lower your cost of living until you can.
**If you can’t pay off the smallest debt, lower your cost of living until you can.
***If you can’t invest 15% into retirement, lower your cost of living until you can.
****If you can’t put money down on the principal of your mortgage, well… you know.

Seriously, it’s a very simple equation. Money in > money out. If you can’t increase your money income, then lower your money output. It’s just that simple.

“Ah!” you say with a frown. “I can’t lower my standard of living!”

Well, yes you can, unless you’re already homeless. You just don’t want to. But you do want to be debt-free, right? Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to work until you’re 75, and then pass on debt to your kids?

“Sure, doesn’t everybody?” you say.

Right. But what are you willing to give up now in order to be able to do that later? Cable TV? Hobbies? Eating out? Designer clothes? New cars? Chances are you have at least one of those things. If you do, and you’re still in debt, you should stop right now and think. There are tons of websites and blogs to give you ideas as to how to save money.

I can see you’re upset, so I’m going to just leave you with these words…

Less is More.

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Change “I Want” to “I Will”

Recently, I was reading a Charlotte Mason book on homeschooling, and came across this quote:

Children should be taught to distinguish between “I want” and “I will”.

And it got me thinking. This is primarily directed towards teaching and training children, but it struck me how applicable this is to everybody, especially in today’s ridiculously backwards society.

How many times have we said to ourselves, “I just want….” or even “I’d really like it if…” when we really are saying “I wish things were different.” The truth is, we can’t change anything except ourselves, which includes our attitudes.

What if instead of saying “I want to know more about God” we say something like “I will spend twenty minutes a day reading my Bible.” Did you know you can read through the entire Bible in about 90 days if you read 20 minutes a day?

Instead of saying “I want to write a book” we say “I will spend an hour today writing.” Did you know if you can write 1500 words a day, you can write a novel in about a month?

Instead of saying “I want to save for retirement” we instead say “I will stop eating out and wasting money, and put that into my 401K.” Did you know you can retire early (and even be debt-free!) if you do simple things like this? It’s not as difficult as it sounds.

What if instead of “I want to lose weight and get in shape” we say “I will eat smaller meals, and get a little more exercise?” Did you know, just controlling your meal portions and getting a few hours of exercise a week is all it takes? Like 40 pounds in 3 months.

What it boils down to, then, is that we always want things to happen, but we’re not willing to take the first step. And truthfully, most things we want to accomplish are easily doable if we just take it one step at a time.

How do I know this? Because I’ve done all four of these things. I’m not a superhero, either. And they weren’t that hard if you break them down into manageable chunks. It’s not magic! It just takes the willingness to take the first step.

So… don’t just say “I want.” Nothing will change.

Get up and take the first step.

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Server Migration

Funny, but I thought only animals migrated… maybe web servers are some sort of bizarre animal species? (I know computer programmers are!)

Seriously, website got moved to a new server, so if you couldn’t reach it today (I know, you were anxiously clicking, waiting with bated breath, right?) that’s why. Took a while for the DNS servers to catch up with the new location.

So, yeah. Like all three of my subscribers. Lol.

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Two Years And Counting: Looking Back

I can’t believe it’s been two years. It seems like much longer, considering.

Two years since what?

Two years since I had my life turned upside down, through no fault of my own, and ended up laid out in a hospital room with my femur shattered in about 8 pieces, indebted to the hospital for $100,000.

It’s kind of a bittersweet remembrance. Of course, there are parts of it I wish I could forget, like the feeling of being slammed into a car’s windshield. I wish I could forget when they installed a traction pin through my knee with a cordless drill. I wish I could forget screaming at the top of my lungs when they moved me from table to table to table in order to get MRI scans. I wish I could remember everything that happened in the hospitals, the people who visited me, the things people told me about when I wasn’t strung out on painkillers.

But it’s not just about what I do and don’t remember. If life were just a series of random events, then all we’d have to do is wait for it to be over. Instead, I’ve chosen to look and actively see what God is trying to show me. Sometimes it’s obvious, and sometimes it’s not.

It’s not about what I do and don’t remember from the last two years that gets me. When I look back and try to remember the things I learned about myself, and about God, it reminds me that there is so much more to life than just waiting out your time.

I learned that God is extremely patient- to a point. Eventually He will get your attention.

I learned that no matter how strong you are, there are always situations that can and will break you.

No matter how broken you are, God still loves you, and He will bring you through it if you let Him.

It’s easier to hear God when you’re immobilized in a hospital bed with nowhere to go and nothing else to do but listen.

Sometimes listening to God is hard. Sometimes it’s painful, but necessary (like surgery). Sometimes it’s like a breath of fresh air. It always puts me at peace.

I learned that nothing in life is more important than spending time with God. Nothing. Without that, everything else kind of falls apart.

I learned that I could speak honestly with people, and more often, if I shared my hardships with them. People don’t want to listen to advice from someone who’s never been through hardship.

Hardships are well, hard. Sometimes unbearably hard. That’s okay, sometimes. You just have to lean on God.

There are many other things I learned while I healed, and I’m trying every day to remember them and live them out. Once your life has been turned around by God, you begin to understand how He works, and how He works through the rough times. He’s there.

Some days I wish I didn’t have a messed up leg. Every time it rains, my whole leg aches. It itches. It twinges and aches when I exercise, it hurts even more when I don’t. It’s a constant reminder of how I could have died… but didn’t. It reminds me that God is with me, every day, in every circumstance.

I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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State of the Blog Address

So, I haven’t written anything here lately. I haven’t written anything on my blog in a while, honestly. There is a part deep inside of me that feels badly about this, because as we all know, you can’t be a successful writer if you don’t write.

However, the sad truth is that I’m just too busy with working and being with family to really do much of anything lately. When I do have time, it’s usually working on something else, like music, or reading. This is infinitely better than writing, and I’ll tell you why.

Because without *doing* anything in our lives, we have nothing to write about! How could I come up with cool new ways to write about technology and music if I didn’t actually do them? How could I explain the process of being quiet and listening to God’s still, small voice if I haven’t done it? Where would I get the cool pictures of my latest creation if I don’t build anything? How could I relate parables of God’s grace revealed to me through my awesome children if I don’t spend time with them? I can’t. And neither can you.

So all that to say, I’m here, I’m having fun living life, and I’m getting a lot done. And when I have time to sit down and write about it again, you can bet I will.