Giving up always seems like the easy way out of a bad situation. All my life, when things got hard, I wanted to quit. When I hurt and was lonely, and it seemed that nobody cared whether I lived or died, then it was easy to say I didn’t care, either.
But my perception of the situation was always wrong. When I was lonely, it was because of my own actions. Because I pushed people away. When I was hurting, it was because I’d let people into my life that I knew would hurt me, or because I’d hurt them first. It was almost always my own doing. I’d complain about failing again and again, when I wasn’t doing anything to fix my problems. I would complain, and turn right around and bury myself in a pity party.
I was my own worst enemy.
Not surprisingly after years of this, I ended up in a very dark place. I filled my mind with negativity, hatred, anger, and bitterness. I had no hope of ever living a happy life. I tried to convince myself it was justified, that I was the victim, but in reality I was killing myself slowly. Inexorably pushing myself towards a cliff that I couldn’t see, and any day, I would have fallen clean off of it. I’m ashamed to say I contemplated suicide more than once.
But somehow I didn’t. Somehow, God managed to keep me from burning my life to the ground despite my best efforts. He gave me hope, and that was all I needed to be pulled from sinking under the waves. But it was close.
I’ve seen plenty of people lose that fight. Some took their lives. Some were so devastated, they didn’t even have the courage to end it, and lived on for decades as empty ghosts of their former selves. Every time I see someone want to give up, it reminds me of myself. Before I met God, and when I had no hope.
You see, you can’t overcome depression without hope. It is the antidote. Hope is what defeats darkness. And the only source of hope that I know of that doesn’t expire is God’s hope. Some of you may immediately think I’m a fool for that, and that’s okay. I’ve been called worse. But nothing else does the trick.
It’s a horrible place to be in, but thankfully, God offers hope when it seems there isn’t any. Why has Christianity survived intact all these millennia? Because it offers hope to broken people, when nothing else can. When you’re hurting, when you’re broken, and when there’s no hope, God offers forgiveness and mercy and grace and hope. In spades.
Time and time again, I’ve seen people on the brink of self-destruction find hope in God, and it turned their life around. Even if you don’t believe in God, you have to believe in the results. And Faith does bring Hope, and in turn, brings Life.
If you’re in a dark place, please consider that there is a God that knows you. You’re only as alone as you choose to be. All that hope requires is that you believe, and have faith.
From someone who has been there, in that dark place, believe me when I say there can be hope. Place your faith in God. It made all the difference in my life. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for God’s work in my life.