Get Used To Disappointment

Yesterday, I was disappointed, and in turn, I disappointed someone else.

It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t start off my day by saying “I feel like letting someone down today.”

And the sad part is, it wasn’t even my fault. My old car- admittedly, it’s old and unreliable- broke down. Big shocker? Not really. Did it disappoint me? Yeah. I was hoping it wouldn’t break.

But, the bigger truth here is that we’re always placing expectations on things, and we get mad when they don’t happen. I expect my car to not break down. I expect my children to learn responsibility when I don’t drill it into them at a young age. I expect my wife to be able to read my mind (admittedly, not that hard… I only think about a few things). I expect that my boss will always give me the easiest jobs.

And when none of those things happen, I’m disappointed.

And every time I screw up, I know I’m disappointing someone else. Every time, I think “that’s the last straw, they’re going to leave/fire/kick me now.” But you know what? Life is a balance of success and failures. Anybody who hasn’t tasted failure and disappointment hasn’t really lived. And I’ve done a lot of living, so I’ve failed a lot.

Why are we so afraid of failure? Sometimes it’s just out of our control. Maybe we should have known better, maybe we couldn’t have. Maybe we just feel bad because things didn’t turn out the way our optimistic selves thought they would.

So, the reality is, the more stuff I do, the more chances I have of failing. I guess I’m okay with that. I don’t like living in the safe zone all the time. If I wanted to play it safe, I wouldn’t have started biking to work, or bought a 50-year-old car to drive around. I wouldn’t have written a book, or started a band, or started a podcast, or any number of other things I’ve done.

I understand playing it safe keeps you from disappointing people. But sometimes, you just have to give it a shot anyway.

Wanted: Swiss Army MIDI Workstation

One of the goals of my guitar setup is to be able to use it in 3 different configurations:

  1. Hardware only
  2. Hardware/software
  3. Software only

Ideally I’d like to be able to exactly the same things with each, but hardware costs money! A lot of money. For instance: a hardware looper that syncs with MIDI clock starts around $400. That’s more than what I paid for my whole laptop! It’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that dollar for dollar, software is the way to go.

But I’ll never completely eliminate hardware, and I don’t think I should. It’s not that I don’t think software is reliable: my laptop runs effects for hours without a hiccup. But you still need hardware for interfacing things together. Controllers, pedals, mixers, etc.

So I guess the question is, what’s an acceptable mix of hardware and software? If I say hardware only, I know exactly what I’d need to buy, and it wouldn’t be cheap.

For effects, i.e. amplifier models, delays, etc. I’ve got it covered in hardware. That’s easy, and I can control everything without a laptop. Everything syncs to the MIDI clock (delays, drum machine, etc.) and everything works. I’d still like to be able to use the Master Control to select drumbeats and the ART pedal to control effect presets… but because of the way the Linn handles that, it will require another piece of hardware to insert Bank Change signals so the MC will only switch drumbeats. Not ideal, but doable.

In order to control the Adrenalinn’s drum and effect presets with two separate MIDI controllers, it requires injecting “bank change” messages into one of them to change the A3’s preset mode. This isn’t very complicated, except that there’s currently no piece of hardware that will do that. However, for about $30, I can build a hardware MIDI filter out of an Arduino Uno board, and it looks something like this: (This is the actual MIDI board I will be using with my Arduino) Continue reading “Wanted: Swiss Army MIDI Workstation”

Proof Of Concept: Live Looping

As I wrote about last week, I’m usually inclined to flit from one project to another. The problem with that is that I rarely get to finish anything. I spent more than an hour working on arranging and testing my music gear last night. Was it productive? Well, yeah, I think so. But was it critical? No, not really. Why did I do it, then? How does that fit into my vision of getting things done?

Honestly, I don’t know. There’s a reason for it, of course, and it’s one of those things that I will have to do eventually. Why did I work on it instead of other things? I don’t know. It was forefront in my mind, and I had to get those ideas out, so I just ran with it.

Where am I going with this?

Basically, with all the things I write about coping with ADD, you’d think I’d have a better grip on that stuff. And then I get an idea, and I go all Doc Brown and stay up working on some mad scientist thing that may or may not ever actually get used. Continue reading “Proof Of Concept: Live Looping”

Goals And Dreams

I was having a discussion this morning with a coworker about advancement in the company. I had to explain to him that I wasn’t interested in all the corporate classes and stuff on advancement, because my chances of promotion here are so close to zero as to not be significant. That’s assuming I’d even want promotion, which I don’t.

He replied “Don’t you have goals and aspirations?”

I replied “I do, just not here.”

Of course I have goals and dreams. They just don’t involve working here, at a global mega-corporation. I could give plenty of reasons why I’m not interested in corporate advancement, but I think it would be better to explain what I do want to reach for.

What are my goals and dreams? World Domination? Immortality? Orbiting Space Lasers?

No. Interestingly enough, I’ve already achieved most of my dreams. When I stop and think about it, what I really want is to expand on what I’ve already done. Become an author? I’ve done that. Become a professional musician? Done it. Public speaker? Done that. Mentoring my kids and other young adults? I’ve gotten to do that, and am still doing that.

What I want, more than anything, is to be able to do those things to the fullest of my ability. I want to be able to throw myself into these passions with the time and energy I feel they deserve, not second-hand leftovers once my day job is done with my brain. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t daydream about what could happen if I were able to put 100% of my energy towards writing, or music, or mentoring/fathering. I’m always wishing I could follow my passions more. Continue reading “Goals And Dreams”

New Podcast: ADD Masterminds

As if I didn’t have enough to do already, I somehow got talked into starting up a new podcast. Yes, that’s right, I co-host a podcast now.

Every now and then, you run across people that think a lot like you. And in some cases, the more you talk, the more you’ve got in common. Running into John was kind of like that. He’s got a heart for music like I do, he’s a dad, a writer, a musician, plus he’s Canadian, eh? Such a nice guy. How could two guys like us end up taking over the world?

So anyway, we decided to do a show based on the random topics our brains come up with and just needed to be discussed. Plus plotting for World Domination. So, here you go: the ADD Masterminds podcast. Don’t take it too seriously… we’re having fun.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Anger, Disappointment, and Wisdom

Sometimes when you’re just be-bopping along, life comes up to you and sucker punches you. Sometimes, when you’re stuck in traffic and you’re driving a 50-year-old car, it overheats and breaks down. And our first natural response is to get mad.

Do we have the right to get mad about life in general? Well, it depends: are you mad that God allowed it to happen, or are you mad at yourself? Or are you just mad at something that you have no control over, and was (in all likelihood) statistically bound to happen eventually?

We have these funny ideas about how the world works, and who’s in control of things. Is it God? Is it physics? Is it our own willpower? Flying Spaghetti Monster? The Force?

Job was a righteous man who got very angry with how things played out. We see in Job chapters 38-41, God lays down this challenge in reply: “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the Earth?” And Job, a righteous man, had nothing to say. He couldn’t defend his anger. Continue reading “Anger, Disappointment, and Wisdom”

Information Diet – Week Five

A while back, I wrote about how I was using Zapier and IFTTT to filter all of my social media notifications through Evernote, so that I didn’t have to actually visit those sites on a regular basis. I’m now a month into it, and I figured it was time to post my findings.

In reality, how well it works depends on what my mind is focused on that day (or that hour). The good news is that it does indeed capture my social media interactions exactly like I wanted it to. The bad news is, it didn’t magically immediately change my habits, which is what is needed to actually make it useful.

Bottom line: the system does work when I use it. It doesn’t prevent me from still checking social media sites occasionally. For that…. I’ve got a secret weapon, called StayFocusd.

This program is a Chrome browser plug-in that allows me to limit how much time I can spend on certain websites. I can tell it certain times of the day (or days of the week) to track it, and I can even have it lock those sites out if I reach my limit. Obviously this is an extreme measure, but the reality is, how else am I going to enforce it? My ADD won’t allow me to not think about it. So the alternative is to manage that information, skim it in a usable way (with Evernote) and then discourage myself from going around the method.

So going forward, this week I’m going to start using StayFocusd to enforce my Social Media information management.

Artificial means are a necessary way for people like me to get things done. Artificial deadlines, artificial schedules, artificial website blackouts: I use whatever works. It can apply to writing, working, social media, recreation time, or whatever.

 

Here It Goes Again

As usual, I feel the need to apologize for not posting more often. On one hand, I really enjoy blogging and writing in general. On the other hand, I’ve gotten a lot of things done that needed doing in the last 2 weeks. I finished putting the interior back into my car. Fixed the shower in the master bathroom. Got the Rambler running better (and then it broke again). Wrote a few chapters on my current non-fiction book project. Recorded and edited a new podcast, and made music for it! Figured out my guitar setup’s MIDI control configuration.

The good part is that I’m being very creative and productive- the bad part is that blogging hasn’t been much of a piece of that yet. All of those things I did are worthy of blog posts on their own, and hopefully I’ll get to do just that.

So for now, here’s a video by OK Go.

Here it goes again!
[youtube_sc url=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA”]

Using Automation To Centralize Input

Recently, Zapier announced that they would be rolling out a new feature: multi-step automated internet functions they call “zaps.” Now, I’ve written about IfTTT and Zapier before, and if you’re plugged into the internet at all, it’s possible they can help you automate things that take up your precious time. I’m currently using these programs to auto-generate task lists every morning, and send myself reminders to update the list during the day. I also have an ongoing” to-do list, for things that are long-term projects. If I add an item to my Google tasks, it’s automatically added to my Evernote list. If someone follows me on Twitter, they’re automatically added to my contact list in Evernote. The goal is to centralize my information input: to conglomerate everything to one portal, where I can look through all the information I need in one place. It could be Google Docs/Keep, or Evernote, or Office 360, or whatever information management program you like. But it should be something that’s accessible anywhere, and is flexible enough to manage any kind of information.

But automation is a mixed blessing for me. It opens up a world of possibilities, and I usually spend more time playing with it than actually getting things done. This is especially true when playing with apps like Tasker, Evernote, and AutoKey. Continue reading “Using Automation To Centralize Input”

Goodbye, Google MyTracks

Today is Groundhog Day here in the States… and for some reason, it seems very familiar…. as if this has somehow happened before….

In yet another stunning move that kills off something very productive that people actually use, Google has decided to end support for its MyTracks fitness app:

After April 30, 2016, My Tracks will no longer be available. We apologize for the inconvenience this might cause My Tracks users. We’ve made the tough decision to invest our efforts into other, more wide-reaching, mapping projects.

Of course, the reason they’re killing it is because MyTracks doesn’t make Google any money. I can understand not maintaining it, but just EOL’ing it (End-Of-Life, fyi (for your information)) is something I don’t see as a smart move. There are more than 10,000,000 installs of it, and over 200,000 reviews of the app… something tells me they could have done something with it if they really wanted to. Continue reading “Goodbye, Google MyTracks”