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Idolatry in Worship

As I wrote about recently, I have come to the conclusion that the modern church has turned their worship service production into an idol.

Strong words, I know. But I can, and will, back them up. Strap in, kids: it’s Unpopular Opinion time.

First, some background. What we see in “modern worship” today largely came out of a small handful of churches, most notably Hillsong Church in Australia. I remember when Hillsong was new on the scene: the sounds were fresh, hip, and not stuffy like the old hymns we were used to singing. The words were mostly fluffy and filled with metaphorical imagery, but wow! They had passion and fire, and they loved Jesus! Before long, mega-church Bethel, in California, had joined in.

Fast forward 30 years: Hillsong and Bethel have both repeatedly touted false doctrine, been embroiled in scandals, and left the Assemblies of God association under questionable circumstances. And they’re raking in money by the tens of millions of dollars.

“So what does that have to do with church production?” Continue reading “Idolatry in Worship”

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Tired Of The Grind

For the last few years, I’ve been comfortably working in a regular, ordinary, desk job. It has allowed me to focus on family time and not worry too much about paying bills and hustling.

But sadly, it doesn’t afford me the ability to do what I want or what I love. You know the old saying- “you work to make your employer rich.” You won’t find financial independence working for someone else. But I don’t really want to start a business, either.

So I have to make a decision: do I start a business again, or plug along with barely enough? Continue reading “Tired Of The Grind”

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To Do, Or Not To Do?

For more than ten years, this blog has been a place of introspection and thought. (Probably some randomness too.) But when I posted recently about wanting to get officially diagnosed with ADHD, it made me realize: if I’ve been feeling alone all these years, and have been struggling my whole life, would it be possible that some of my readers could be too? I mean, I originally chose the name “Living Outside The Box” because that’s just how my brain works. I knew it even back then.

I wouldn’t be called an “expert” on ADHD, unless you consider the fact that I’ve lived with it and developed coping mechanisms for it for the last 40+ years. I see ADHD “coaches” on Youtube, which is awesome, and I think about how much I’ve already learned on my own. Most of these coaches aren’t doctors and don’t have degrees in psychology- they’re just really experienced in dealing with it. I’ve learned to live with ADHD without even realizing it. Maybe some of those skills and observations could help someone else!

The first problem that comes to my mind is: How do I reach people with this? Obviously, just blogging here isn’t doing much for exposure (I get almost no traffic). But what else can I do?Maybe Youtube? LBRY.tv? Vimeo? GabTV? Bitchute? Continue reading “To Do, Or Not To Do?”

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Spirituality and Mental Disorders

Recently, I stumbled upon the YouTube channel of Jessica McCabe called “How to ADHD.” And like a true ADHD Brain, I binge watched for hours. And then had to go back and re-watch most of them, because I got distracted.
*sigh*
In one video in particular, Jessica addresses the stigma of having to take ADHD medications. It’s a very sensitive subject, and the object of much scrutiny. I’ll be honest- I’ve avoided being diagnosed with ADHD because of the cost, and the (assumed) danger of taking medications for it. The last thing I want is to make things worse. And hey, I’ve made it this far without help, right?

But not too long ago, I had a major meltdown. My meltdowns don’t look like a child’s- I’m not throwing fits or sobbing. When I am overwhelmed, it spirals into depression, self-criticism, anger, and shame. And then I just shut down. I quit thinking, I quit talking, I quit caring. I just turn everything off and exist until I can function again. Sometimes it takes days, or even weeks, for me to be able to perform executive functions again, like making important decisions.

This obviously isn’t a good thing. Especially since, when The Overwhelm happens, it’s usually because I am being forced to make an important decision.

The biggest question I have, now that I understand this about myself, is: “How does this affect my spiritual life?”

Hooo boy. How do you even answer a question like that? And regardless of your thoughts on ADHD or spirituality, it’s something that *I* have to be able to bring into agreement. And I’m not 100% sure of some of it. Continue reading “Spirituality and Mental Disorders”

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How Do We Make Hard Decisions?

Since I’ve been looking at all-in-one guitar things, naturally, I’ve done research and considered all the options. There are units going from $200 all the way up to $3000, and everything in between. But truth be told, even the cheaper ones are still pretty good. So what am I looking for in an all-in-one guitar/bass effect unit? How do you make a choice when there’s so many good choices?

I’m basically going to walk you through the decision making process of how to buy a piece of music gear- or anything, really. This is a lesson on how to wade through choice overload. This is a critical skill for becoming a minimalist.

What do you need?

Let’s say I’m shopping for a pedalboard upgrade. The first question I need to ask is “What am I going to be using it for?” And the second question is related: “What will this allow me to do that I can’t do now?” Because if it doesn’t do more than my current one, it’s not an upgrade, is it? Continue reading “How Do We Make Hard Decisions?”

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Thoughts On Minimalist Music Gear (Again)

I was recently tuning in to a popular ambient guitarist’s livestream, and I noticed they had added a bunch of new stuff to their setup. I saw all of that, listened to the sounds coming out of it, and thought “Is that really all he’s doing with all that stuff? How much did all that cost, anyway?” And of course, I made the mistake of looking up the prices and figuring out how much money this guy had tied up into his board.

It was around six thousand dollars. For a pedalboard to make ambient music with. Six grand, just for the pedals… not including the board, wires, guitar, amps, or anything else.

This gave me pause. I haven’t even paid that much for a car in the last 10 years. And it begs the question: If I had $6K to drop on a guitar setup, how would *I* do it? Simple: I wouldn’t.

For that much money, I could get two Fractal Axe-FX 3’s. Or four Line 6 Helixes. And arguably, I could do ten times more with those than any collection of single pedals on a board.

Bottom line: is it worth the money? My opinion: No.
Continue reading “Thoughts On Minimalist Music Gear (Again)”

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Still In Love… With The World

You know what this world has to offer?

  • Self-help programs
  • Politics
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Advertising
  • “Your Best Life Now”
  • Toys (the big, expensive, adult kind)
  • Popularity
  • Sexual deviancy
  • Self-medication
  • Subjective reality
  • Victimhood

John the Disciple said:

“Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.” – 1 John 15-17

I don’t know about you, but I want to do the will of God. I don’t want to be in love with the Dark World, or anything it provides. I hate that my flesh likes some of those things. I don’t want to lust after popularity, or recognition, or fun toys, or whatever. But my flesh is always trying to draw me back into the world.

Why do I run a blog, or a YouTube channel? It’s because I want to be seen, to be heard, and understood. I want to share my thoughts and music with people. I want to be recognized for it! I want to be seen as someone who contributes to the benefit of those who ask hard questions, and don’t settle for easy, pat answers.

But is that really “doing the will of God?” Continue reading “Still In Love… With The World”

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Being Outmoded

No matter how much I try to keep up with the hectic pace of life, I always seem to end up feeling like I’m stuck in the past. And not in the “Things were better back in the day!” kind of way. More like the “I feel like I can’t move forward in time” kind of feeling. I want to be a creator, to make things- music, videos, machines, whatever- but I am constantly kneecapped by the fact that I’m not independently wealthy, I can’t afford nice cameras and lights and computers and toys, and more importantly… I feel frustrated that I actually want those things.

What if I made it “my thing” to be okay with getting by with old cheap stuff? I see videos by Vulfpeck done all grainy and old-school, and it makes me wonder: Could it be possible for me to make video content that’s not in 1080p, and it still be good content?

Continue reading “Being Outmoded”

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Is Everything Really Pointless?

What is the point of writing a blog if nobody reads it? What is it about written discourse that people just aren’t interested in any more? No matter how I cut it, there’s no denying that blogs aren’t drawing in traffic like they used to. But written word is still my favorite way to communicate!

So what’s the point? Why am I still posting here? It’s mostly because I just like writing. Is it pointless? I don’t think so- not completely pointless to me. By me writing things out, it helps me to think through difficult problems, scriptures, and whatever else. Couldn’t I just do that in a written journal? Well, I suppose I could.

My Shifting Influences

There’s a lot that has been going on in my life lately. My wife has been ill. We’re still dealing with the consequences of that. We’re still dealing with after effects of Coronavirus lockdowns. Our family is struggling to find stability and peace, and somehow, I have to make sense of it all.

I’ve been watching a lot of new Youtube channels. Mostly music and guitar stuff, but there’s a few I follow that speak about current events and self-improvement. Some of them are Christians, some of them aren’t. But the main idea is that I’m trying to figure out what to do with my life at this point.

“What, you don’t have your life figured out yet?”

Well, sort of. I’ve spent the last 25 years building my family, and doing challenges when I get the chance- writing a book, learning a new language, studying martial arts. That has served me well up to now. But I am moving into a place where I am thinking about the future, and I don’t have a specific course laid out for myself. I’m being pulled in many directions.

“But don’t you write about purpose all the time?”

Yes, I do. But there’s more than one way to carry out purpose. I need to spend some time thinking about the best way to do it. If I’m a worship musician at heart, what are different ways I can fulfil that? If my goal is to creatively present the gospel, what are some ways I could do that? Music? Videos? Stories?

Each one of those pursuits has its own requirements for time, money, and energy spent. In some cases they may overlap (like making music for videos). But for the most part, they don’t. So I have to decide which way to go. I clearly don’t have the time to do all of them, as much as I’d like to.

Et Tu, Brute’

So, my choices are:

  1. write books (least money, most time required)
  2. music production (medium money, medium time)
  3. minecraft theology videos (most money for new PC)

I’m sure there are other things I could add to the list, but these are what I’m currently evaluating.

A new baseline computer (just the parts) would run me around $700. Top shelf would be closer to $2000.

Music production would cost me a few hundred bucks in equipment, but easily less than $500. I already have most of what I need.

Video camera: I will probably need to get a nice camera if I go any of these routes. Everything is distributed through youtube now. Music? Needs video. Gaming? Needs video. Writers? Needs video. I don’t think I can get around this.

What’s the Point?

What I’m getting at is this: sometimes you need to evaluate not just your purpose, but also how you carry out your purpose. Not just the why, but also the how. And sometimes that means making compromises to keep moving towards the end goal.