There are days when you wake up and dread getting out of bed. Do you know what I’m talking about? Those days, when you wish you could just pretend you weren’t a Christian, and didn’t have to be nice to anybody for a few days.
I’m just being honest. If you’ve never experienced this, then you’re not human. Everybody has bad days, and I’m no exception, even though I’m cheerier than most. There are some days (and more specifically, some people) that just make me wish I could move to a deserted island. There are people that suck so much energy out of you, it hurts to be in their presence.
How do you deal with people that suck all your joy out? Killjoys, pessimists, cynics, nagging, criticizing, and so on. After hours with them, you want to end the misery with blunt force trauma to the head (yours or theirs, doesn’t matter which).
We see Jesus (in Luke 6) as he’s teaching a crowd. He offers the Beatitudes, and then he follows them with some warnings:
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Sounds easy, but it’s not. Now, for the real question: How far would Jesus love them? Would he allow them to drive him crazy, or would he look into their souls, see what they needed, and free them from it? At what point did he cut them loose?
Well, contrary to popular belief, there were plenty of times when Jesus cut people loose… let them go, pushed them further than they were willing to go. He didn’t always suck it up and put up with it. He told people what they needed to hear, and if they couldn’t handle it, he moved on. The Apostle Paul was the same way. In Matthew 11 and Luke 10, we even see Jesus denouncing entire cities that refused his message.
So, okay, maybe we don’t have the power to look into people’s souls, but we can pretty much figure out what they need (I mean really need, not just what we want to *ahem* give them). And let’s assume that you’ve given them truth as best you can, like Jesus would have.
So then what? Let’s see what Jesus did with people that tried his patience.
In Luke 4, Jesus was teaching in his home town, and the people wanted to know why he didn’t do more miracles there. He tells them the truth, and they responded with:
29 They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff. 30 But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.
He just slipped through and left them alone. He ignored their accusations, and left the situation. In Luke 19, Jesus enters the temple and begins throwing over tables, telling the sellers to get out! He then proceeds to do what He did best, which is tell people the truth, and this was the outcome:
47 Every day he was teaching at the temple. But the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the leaders among the people were trying to kill him. 48 Yet they could not find any way to do it, because all the people hung on his words.
He spoke truth, and didn’t allow himself to be caught in lies. Everywhere He turned, people asked him inappropriate questions, and He always gave an answer, though not what they were looking for…
People asked Jesus who should take care of their estate. Jesus told them He wasn’t an arbiter of wills.
They asked if they should pay taxes. Jesus told them to give the government its due.
They asked how many times they could remarry, and who’s wife would she be in Heaven. Jesus told them they didn’t have a clue about what Heaven was like.
The focus isn’t going to be on who’s married to whom in heaven… our focus will be on worshipping the God of the universe.
So what do we do?
- Know when not to say anything
- Speak the truth in love
- If you retaliate at all, kill them with kindness
- If they reject the truth, smile and walk away.
Always remember: We can’t control other people’s actions, but we can control our own reactions. Take a deep breath, smile, and walk away.
Well done. Often the Spirit will give us an anointed question to ask which will resolve the problem. Either get them saved or cause them to leave BUT it takes the anointing of the Holy spirit to do it in love.