I was reading a blog post this morning about Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay “Self Reliance” and it got me thinking. Anybody who knows me can verify that I’m a non-conformist in the purest sense of the word. I have this compelling urge to do things differently, sometimes for no good reason. It’s gotten me in a lot of trouble, but has also provided experiences I would never have been able to see if I had been “normal.” This particular morning, however, I was brought to the realization that much of my non-conformism is a form of selfish idolatry.. for me to simply exercise my right to be different without any goal is simply selfishness.
What then is the good of being a non-conformist? Emerson seems to think the act of following your own will is the ultimate expression of individuality, but all too often, my will has led me astray. The only direction I have that has any meaning is that direction I receieve from God, for I know it’s true, it’s pure, and it is selfless. Only then, when I am bucking the system for the sake of loving and serving others, does my role as a non-conformist become truly satisfying and complete. Everything is justified, and I need not answer to anyone but God.
A lot of misguided people have been led astray by their own will, claiming it was the will of God. I can see in Emerson’s writings how following what you feel can end up that way. Possibly he assumed everyone listening to his voice was a follower of God, and reading the essay, it seems that’s the case. One thing is for sure: God will not give you a vision that does not accomplish His goals, nor will he give you a mission that tarnishes His perfect image. I am tempted to back away from the ledge, and for fear of going outside of God’s will, do nothing radical at all. But I still hear the call to go and serve, and I can’t ignore it. It drives me, it was in my blood even before I knew God, because He had put it there for me to use to serve Him.
Non-conformism for the sake of serving and loving people as an example of God’s love is a worthy and noble cause. Non-conformism for the sake of getting attention and thrills will only end in disappointment and spiral into more grandiose acts of rebellion, none of which will satisfy the itch that God has placed in you.
So in your non-comformism, whom are you serving?