Have you ever felt like a failure?
I know I have. More than I’d like to admit, honestly.
And if you feel like you’re not successful in life, it’s easy to blame circumstances and try to absolve yourself of any responsibility. But you know who’s really responsible for your failures?
That’s right… you know who it is. Look in the mirror.
For years, I told myself I wasn’t a success because I hadn’t succeeded. I blamed plenty of things, including stuff that wasn’t true and didn’t exist. I just assumed the world had it in for me, and that no matter how smart or creative I was, I couldn’t succeed. Because if I could succeed, why wasn’t I?
So what’s changed? I didn’t just wake up and become an advice guru. Didn’t dive into self-help books and “your best life now.” I had to define what the word “success” meant. Plenty of people want to “succeed.” But what does that mean?
Does that mean you’ll make tons of money? Maybe it means you’ll get that job you’ve always wanted? Maybe your vision of “success” is finding a good woman to marry. Maybe your bucket list is being able to travel the world.
Do you see the problem? The measure of success is determined by the person, and what they want. If we want to achieve “success” then we have to determine what that means specifically for us.
You need to ask yourself these two questions:
“How do I determine success? And how do I know if I’ve failed?”
What’s Your Answer?
Maybe for you, success in life means “being able to pursue the things I value, without having to waste time on things I don’t.”
This can be applied to any area of life. Do I value being creative? Yes. Do I like having to set up everything every single time I want to make music? No. Whether or not I actually produce something is important, but not as important as feeling successful in being able to work on them. Because I know that if I’m able to work on creative projects, it’s only a matter of time before I have a finished product.
Financial success, to me, isn’t a dollar amount necessarily. It’s simply “Do I have enough money to do what I want?” which could range from a little to a lot, depending on what I’m wanting to do. But basically, I don’t want to have to worry about if I have enough money. Enough is enough- I don’t need to be filthy rich. I’m not planning on jumping on the Hedonic Treadmill any time soon.
Success in life? That’s a bit harder to nail down. Would you say being happily married and raising wonderful children is success? If so, then I’ve got it. Maybe you want to live on the beach in the Bahamas? You might consider that “success,” though I wouldn’t, if it meant I couldn’t be with my family. So that tells me my family is more important, to me, than my personal comfort.
Success Is Submitting To God
In reality, as a Christian, our success is only measured on whether we are in God’s will or not. Either we’re following God, or we aren’t. And if we aren’t, then we can’t really say we’re successful.
Does that mean God will never allow you to go through difficult circumstances? Not at all. But even if God allows you to suffer loss, there is still something you can do: humble yourself. God wants you to succeed- just maybe not in the way you thought.
My wife has been sick with some neurological condition for 9+ months. God told her it was for His glory, and would use it to reach people. When someone tells her “I pray you are healed!” she says “No. If God’s using it, I don’t want to be healed yet.”
Most people would see not being healed as a failure, but when your goal for success is being submitted to God, things of this world don’t seem to matter as much. Success is good, if it’s based on the right criteria.
Paul the Apostle says:
“But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Nevertheless, you have done well to share with me in my affliction.”
-Philippians 4:10-14
Paul knew following Christ would be full of ups and downs. Success wasn’t determined by whether or not he was in comfort, or in chains.
Is Success Wrong?
Pursuing success in the world, by itself, isn’t wrong. Being rich isn’t a sin. Having a healthy marriage and a beautiful family is a glorious testimony to God.
But success is completely based on the idea of submitting to God. Which means, since we cannot know what God has called others to without revelation from God Himself, these external, worldly measures of “success” are meaningless to the believer.
By that measure, if that person is successful in obeying God’s will, then it doesn’t matter what we think of their success. Their wealth, such as it is, may simply be what God has provided for them to be able to do what He’s called them to do- it’s certainly not a measure of their worth in God’s eyes.
If you’ve become discouraged with how much you’re struggling, or with how little you have to work with, or maybe with your lack of relationships, then you need to evaluate your obedience to God.
Are you being obedient in the things of God that you’re called to do?
If so, then you can confidently consider yourself “successful.”