Purpose Redux

Over the last week, I’ve been examining my Core Values, and let me tell you, it’s been harder than I expected it to be. You might think “What’s so hard about writing down what you value?” Well, give it a try, and see for yourself.

Ultimately, it boils down to what things drive your decisions and relationships, and whether or not your daily actions line up with where you want to go, and who you want to be.

As I wrote about previously, it’s easy to get caught up in feeling like your worth is tied into what you can do. But sometimes that’s out of your control, so why should you feel inferior for not being able to do something you had no control over?You can’t beat yourself up for not being something you are. Let me be clear- this isn’t an excuse to never improve, or to give up on life. But at your root, your core, you are who God created you to be. It sometimes takes work to realize that, and it will definitely take renewing of your mind through the Holy Spirit to get you there. But we are New Creations in Christ! True, but God didn’t make you “wrong” either. Our spirits are renewed through Christ’s sacrifice (before that, we are dead in sin). But God’s ultimate design for you didn’t change- and He knows your shortcomings. He knows your gifts, knows your hurts, and knows you need His guidance to become who you were meant to be.

I won’t lie, I see all the Twitter Bros bragging about making $10K a day, while deadlifting 400 lbs and whatever else. I see them, and part of me feels inferior because I can’t do that stuff, and I don’t think I ever will. But it’s not because I can’t.

It’s because I don’t really want to. Being a “Twitter Bro” isn’t on my to-do list, and it’s not one of my core values. It doesn’t matter to me, or to my kids, that I can’t bench my body weight or run a 5-minute mile. My wife might like it if I was ripped, or made big money, but that’s not why she married me, either. It’s not  something she deeply values.

I’d like to have a nice highway car, because I like to drive, and it would allow me to do other things I enjoy, like road rallies and car shows. But that costs time and money, and it’s not needed for me to be who I am. Every time my car breaks down, though, it reminds me that it’s something I want, and probably will never have, because it’s just not more important than everything else.

I want to produce an album. I want to create a successful Youtube channel. I want to make cool things, but the actual things I create aren’t what’s important. In fact, the process of creating isn’t even that important.

So what is important?

What’s important is who I am. When I understand who I am, in relation to God, then everything else falls into place the way God intended. It doesn’t matter if I get to do cool things, because those things won’t last for eternity. What matters is that I poured everything I have into loving God, and letting Him love me. If I get that right… I’m good.

So what do I do with all the voices in my head telling me to do more, be more, make more? I don’t know. But those voices don’t determine my worth and value. They don’t make my wife love me any more than she does. They don’t fix my problems, and they won’t raise my kids.

Focus on being, and less on doing.