You may remember the piece I wrote a while back about ADHD and Faith. Or maybe the one about Spirituality and Mental Disorders.
Have you ever wanted to be able to do something, but weren’t able to mentally do it? Have you ever wondered “If ADHD, or depression is a mental disorder, how does that affect my ability to ‘take every thought captive to be obedient in Christ’?”
How can I “take every thought captive” when my frontal cortex is dysfunctional? Some people will ask “Do you believe God wants you to be focused?” Well, I would hope so… but I also believe God doesn’t want people to die from cancer. And yet it still happens.
“People don’t choose to get sick!” you might say, and you’re right. But I didn’t choose to have ADHD either. I mean, it’s all I’ve ever known, but at no point did anyone ask me if that’s what I wanted.
Furthermore, what I believe about God’s character doesn’t seem to affect my ADHD in any way, as far as I know. But does my mental “disability” affect my spiritual walk? And if so, how can I know? How can I tell if I’m just spiritually apathetic, or if it’s just my brain refusing to work the way I want it to?
Is there any hope for Christians with ADHD?
What this comes down to is our definition of “love” and how that’s tied into “attention.” If you love someone, it follows that you want to spend as much time with them as possible, and give them as much attention as you can.
It’s actually very common for ADHD people to struggle with relationships because of this. Our executive functions, i.e. the part of our brain that manages our attention, is extremely unpredictable. Sometimes, our brains just snap in and out of focus when having conversations, or we unconsciously ignore our loved ones. Does that mean we don’t love them? No, not necessarily.
The problem is, how do you show someone you love them when you can’t force yourself to always give them the attention they deserve?
It’s not easy, believe me.
Be Transformed
I’m sure you’ve heard Romans 12:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”
The “be transformed” part is a command… but we’re not able to transform ourselves! So how the heck are we supposed to make that work??
The key is in the “by the renewing of your mind.” We have to intentionally renew our minds, using whatever means we have at our disposal. And of course, how do Christians renew their minds?
We study the Word. We read our Bibles. We spend time in prayer.
Okay, that’s fine. But how do we do that when our hearts are cold?
Herein lies the problem.
My brain randomly pops in and out of reality. It has no sense of the passage of time. And it hijacks my decision making process for immediate rewards because of this. Prayer and reading scripture on a regular schedule are almost impossible for me.
I could go on and on about the symptoms of this whatever you want to call it. Is it a disease? Is it a dysfunction? Is it a mental disorder? Is it a spiritual and/or moral dilemma? Is it just being different? I don’t really know.
What I do know however is that if I don’t try to make something change, nothing will change. God is not going to zap me out of the blue and imbue me with an insatiable hunger for holiness. He’s not going to pull a “Saul to Paul” conversion on me.
Following Your Heart Is Bad Advice… ?
How do you fall in love with someone? Was it “love at first sight?” Or did something catch your eye, and eventually, you learned more?
I can follow God’s commands, participate in the church, and do everything I think a Christian should do. But that alone won’t make me love God more, any more than reading a book or taking a walk.
I think my biggest hurdle in overcoming spiritual stagnancy is that I was expecting to love God “at first sight” when in reality, it’s more of a “learn more and let it grow.” It reminds me of the book (and film) Love Comes Softly. Yes, I know it’s a mushy pioneer-era love story. But what happens is the main character married a frontiersman out of necessity, and through spending time working with each other, they eventually fall in love.
So maybe in our walk with God, we are honoring our “marriage” through commitment, but eventually will develop a deeper love for God that grows into something amazing.
But you have to start somewhere.